From 3:57 a.m., July 18, 2006

Dear Friend,Woke up early this morning, before the chickens. I'm worried about work. There's so much to learn and so much to do. Have I bitten off more than I can chew? My horoscope--yes horoscope, I'm a media lapdog, remember?--anyway said that for yesterday to reach for the moon and to dream big. I can't remember the rest, something about confidence, that I can do what I am trying to do. For me that's success in my job. That's all I want.But things change. No matter what, they always do. And sometimes it's for the worse. I can't help but be a little afraid. I have recently, maybe about 10 months ago taken on additional duties and although I feel like I'm really earning my pay, I can't miss a day and I work long hours. That's my fault. I can't concentrate very well when people are talking and in my detail-oriented job I need peace and quiet. Also, I work slow but sure and that takes more time. That's my choice and it's just the way I am. Can't change that. Wish I could focus better; if I could only get rid of my fears.