It is RAINING!

The weather usually upsets me as it does my cat. So, I turned off the TV and put on a CD. Kitty is crying, he's so scared. It's coming down pretty hard. I wonder if the roof will give way. I try to talk to him and call him to come in my bedroom where it is peaceful. He finally comes and the rain stops for now. So, we listen to the music together. My cat is such a sweetheart!

I want to write about what it's like to have a constant craving. I have an obsessive personality at times and it now seems that the pain in my back is testing my ability to carry on. Sometimes I go to the pills when I can't take it anymore but usually I fight the urge. I'm not an alcoholic either but sometimes the world looks a lot more upbeat after I've had a drink. I'm not supposed to be drinking at all. How can I stop altogether? I asked my doctor and he said, "You just make your mind up to." Well, my mind is in such upheaval at times that that's not such an easy proposition. I have been in so many auto accidents and once I was a pedestrian and I was hit so hard I flew through the air quite a few yards and landed on the ground. I remember the Lookie-Lous who gathered 'round, their faces and movements were animalistic, like a herd of wild beasts for want of a better way to put it. I do remember a man came and put a blanket over me so I wouldn't go into shock. I thought he was so kind and so smart to do that but the chaos of the situation prevented me from thanking him. Or maybe I managed to do so and can't remember all the details now. Life takes it's toll. We venture on.