I'm suffering from a lack of verbal self-defense

Today I had a doctor's appointment to get the results of some tests on my heart and lungs. We first had a BBQ at work and I was preoccupied waiting for time to leave for my appointment. A girl said from across the gazebo, "What's the matter, you sleeping over there or you just scared?"
I realized she was talking to me and I just didn't feel up to coming up with a comeback. But, I thought, I defended this b--ch when another girl was saying they should fire her ass because she's lazy, doesn't do her job, and had milked the student aide program for 10 years while she went to school and "worked" part time, taking long lunches to go to the mall, and leaving early every day. I had answered compassionately, "but she has twins, she needs the job."
I thought to myself, could she be jealous that I got a promotion recently? At least because of my promo I felt in a good place though i was feeling weak, tired, and worried about my test results. When I got to my doctor's she and the attending physician, both really nice and concerned young women who put me at ease told me that my CT scan was not normal so they had referred me to a lung specialist just to rule out anything serious developing in the future like cancer or tuberculosis. I was asked if I had been exposed to TB or smoked or where did I grow up or did I work in an asbestos environment. I don't smoke but I do work in a hospital. At any rate I have faith in my doctors and their proceeding cautiously and caringly. It makes me sad that I may be seriously ill just when I finally have become a "career woman" with a respectable promotion.

Sparring with words

In my last post I painted an extreme picture of co-workers boxing with angry words, rough-housing with gossip, rumors, innuendo, and back-stabbing. Not to downplay the hostile work environment but I should depict things more as they are, natural and a matter of educating one for any working environment. Things are more like sparring with boxing gloves on. It's not all bad.

One woman in particular, however, seems to complain about everything. It seems like she thinks she is getting the short end of the stick unless she complains and tattletales whenever she thinks someone else is getting preferential treatment.

Another woman likes to slice and dice with her tongue, then she comes all sweet and nice when she has a questions or favor to ask.

Then, there is another woman who just loves the sound of her voice. She talks as if she knows a lot with her voice modulated perfectly but she doesn't know much. I would say she's faking it 'til she makes it. And there are others much like these ladies.

Overall, it's not a bad place to work. There are enough friends to make it all worthwhile. My problem is that I'm afraid to speak up, not that I'm too nice, just too insecure. I have a wit and I should use it. I'm just not used to thinking on my feet. I think of what I should have said once the storm has blown over.

I'm learning to spar with words, though--trying to. And waking up from a silent sleep at the same time. We are none of us immune to this dancing game of self-defense. Meanwhile, gotta treat everyone with respect or could get in trouble, seriously. And as if this all weren't enough to cope with while trying to do the job, here comes the clincher, I believe in the Golden Rule, treat everyone as you would like to be treated. The Universe will take notice even if people don't. Yep, they say that being able to do the job is the easiest part of the job and getting along with co-workers is the hardest part. Whoever "they" were, they were right.

Peace

Claire