Enough Cheese with My Whine

Well, that's about enough whining from me for awhile. Yesterday, something happened that brought out the compassion in me and made me feel ashamed of my complaining about petty things that don't amount to a hill of beans. In the middle of the day, security roped off where my car was parked and no one could go in or leave the parking lot until an investigation was completed. Someone had apparently committed suicide. It is so sad that someone would feel bad enough to end it all. Sometimes I feel like crying and I wish I'd never been born but as for doing away with myself, no, don't want to even go there. Yeah, this is a good time for meditation and prayer.

Peace and hugs,

Claire

Sparring with words

In my last post I painted an extreme picture of co-workers boxing with angry words, rough-housing with gossip, rumors, innuendo, and back-stabbing. Not to downplay the hostile work environment but I should depict things more as they are, natural and a matter of educating one for any working environment. Things are more like sparring with boxing gloves on. It's not all bad.

One woman in particular, however, seems to complain about everything. It seems like she thinks she is getting the short end of the stick unless she complains and tattletales whenever she thinks someone else is getting preferential treatment.

Another woman likes to slice and dice with her tongue, then she comes all sweet and nice when she has a questions or favor to ask.

Then, there is another woman who just loves the sound of her voice. She talks as if she knows a lot with her voice modulated perfectly but she doesn't know much. I would say she's faking it 'til she makes it. And there are others much like these ladies.

Overall, it's not a bad place to work. There are enough friends to make it all worthwhile. My problem is that I'm afraid to speak up, not that I'm too nice, just too insecure. I have a wit and I should use it. I'm just not used to thinking on my feet. I think of what I should have said once the storm has blown over.

I'm learning to spar with words, though--trying to. And waking up from a silent sleep at the same time. We are none of us immune to this dancing game of self-defense. Meanwhile, gotta treat everyone with respect or could get in trouble, seriously. And as if this all weren't enough to cope with while trying to do the job, here comes the clincher, I believe in the Golden Rule, treat everyone as you would like to be treated. The Universe will take notice even if people don't. Yep, they say that being able to do the job is the easiest part of the job and getting along with co-workers is the hardest part. Whoever "they" were, they were right.

Peace

Claire

Rough House

At work this week, people's voices were raised to special highs and hostility was in everyone's sails. Rumors were a buzzing. I hate when people talk about other people. It's like nails on a blackboard for me. Co-workers boasted that they were funny. Ellen DeGeneres, in her stand-up act says something like, "Oh, that's not funny. See, If it were funny, we'd both be laughin'." Yes, making fun of someone is a pasttime at work. It's about as charming as herpes. And just as chronic. The ladies I work with are sassy and so I jokingly said to them, "You girls are just SO Catty. One of them said, "You're Kitty and we're Catty." I didn't get the joke, I just said, "I'm just kidding."

Wish we could all get along without being like hens who peck at each other. Poor hens, they all end up the worse for wear and they aren't treated well by their farmers, either. Don't let me get into that tonight. Music is a soothing blessing at work that filters out a lot of the negativity. That's why they say music sooths the animal spirit.

Peace,

Claire

Good Day at Work

It was a quiet day at work today. I felt that I got a lot done. I am a quiet person and I have a job that is a quiet job most of the time. I like it that way. I'm a detail person. I'm thorough and often take my time. This may get on some people's nerves. I recall where I got my philosophy about what people think of me. It was a book by the then Rev. Terri Cole Whitaker called What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business. If we go around worrying about what people think of us, we can never be genuine. Be happy with who you are. Society is a tapestry.

Not too long before the new year

It seems that I can't go any higher in my job or get upgraded without moving and going somewhere else. I have to decide whether to apply somewhere else or whether to stay stuck. By the new year I should have decided. It's too bad that they don't pay by how much work one has and the quality of that work.

On the other hand, I have a job that I like and somehow I manage to pay my bills. I should be grateful for that. I wonder if thinking of abundance will bring it about. You know, that New Age positive thinking idea?

I also need to get around to doing so many things before the end of the year that it gives me a headache. It is soon enough now that I can work on it a little at a time. That's all I can do. I just have to quit putting myself last and stop wasting my time. Oh, procrastination, stay away.

It's weird about the holiday season, there is time off for vacation so you have time to think but it is hard to get things done because everyone else is on vacation too. I guess the New Year, when everyone comes back off their think tank that we can actually accomplish something.

We had a power outage in our neighborhood

Last night, we had a power outage in our neighborhood and it was kind of fun going through the house with flashlights but it was scary too. Just think of all the people in the world who live without electricity at night like in Korea. Or just really poor people who have no electricity. Winter is coming and although I love this time of year it does remind me of those who are wanting. I am not affluent myself, I struggle. But I have not suffered extremely.

I saw Bono on TV, on Larry King talking about redistributing wealth and food and medicine in the world. U-2 is one of my all-time favorite groups and partly because of their politics. It is so refreshing to see and hear a celebrity talking about something that matters! I just love the celebrities who stick their necks out and talk about Darfur, War, etc. not safe causes but that's what makes these celebrities stand out as sincere and makes them loved and popular.

I went out to lunch with my friend to a Japanese & seafood buffet restaurant. After we were done feasting I thought, I don't need huge amounts of food to be satisfied and happy, it is just a treat to have abundance. But what if we could share, the way people share ideas, music and whatever they have to share that is good (not mean-spirited or evil) on the Internet? What if we could redistribute all the excess to others? Recently, former President Bill Clinton was on the Daily Show talking about how a movement that he is involved with is taking medical supplies that are perfectly good and sterile but that would ordinarily be thrown out due to regulations and is giving these supplies to doctors who in turn distribute them to other countries. Finally, a movement to do what isolated volunteers have done in the past.

An attitude of gratitude

To live a happy life, it is important to maintain an attitude that expresses gratefulness for every little and big thing in life. It is all vital to health and happiness If not for this, then my life would not have taken such a turn and a valuable person or lesson would not have appeared. Every little thing is important and must be thanked out of humble gratitude. Life is all a learning experience. Never forget that.

I have been highly disorganized and uninterested in my home life. I mainly cared about e-mailing for eaves dropping on his coordination of his assets. Funny, I just tried an experiment. I closed my eyes and typed whatever my subconscious guided me to type. This is why I don't relinquish control to my subconscious, nor to sexual attraction. It takes more than that to judge a man. And it takes more judgement and discernment than to trust the subconscious. However, gut reactions must also be heeded, especially in business. Intuition is a delicate balance.

Third thing, keep heart clear of hatred and grudges. Such a horrible thing to hate and to blame. It causes disease. Meanwhile, We should cultivate gratitude for the million and one natual gifts at our disposal. Oh, so, a little bit of cloud-cover and it can make you so joyous to realize the sun is shining through.

Peace,

Claire

I Walk The Line

I happened upon Walk The Line on HBO this weekend. Powerful, charmer of a movie. I recall seeing Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash walking through an airport one busy summer day. Johnny Cash looked a little shakey (it happened that he had a disease of the nervous system). They made their way through the crowd like real troopers. My heart went out to them. They looked pretty good, yet I thought to myself, "they can't keep going much longer." But, I didn't know how true my impressions were. They died in 2003, not much later than when I saw them.

The movie, much like the personal meeting was transforming, and very affecting. I only hope that I wasn't part of the demoralizing process that fans leave with their idols when I met the great performers and song writers, June and Johnny Cash. My friend was such a jerk, claiming he was a distant relation, what a crock I should have stepped in and said, please excuse my friend, here. He's crazy. In the movie, Johnny Cash said that June Carter had written Ring of Fire, which she co-wrote with Merle Kilgore. It was about her unrequited love for Johnny Cash but he divorced and married June Carter.

October is here

Finally, the weather cools down and I cuddle with my cat at night. Who worries about allergies? I sleep with my cat.

This month is also the time for pumpkin patches, hayrides (in the old days), Oktoberfest, and Halloween! I know how to make a pumkin mousse pie with firm tofu, pumpkin filling and a blender, oh and don't skrimp on the pumpkin spices like cinnamon and nutmeg! Halloween is my favorite holiday dating back to the creative old days of growing up. We always put together our costumes and it was so much fun!

I think the best costume that my son ever had was one that I made him with a little bit of imagination and just a few purchases that would entertain him after Halloween was gone. First, we went to the hat store downtown and got him a real, yellow Dick Tracey hat. Then, we went to Toys 'R' Us and bought him a Dick Tracey belt with flashlight, handcuffs, gun and spy watch. Then I took an old black vest that I had from a three-piece suit and folded back the excess material and safety pinned it back. He had a white dress shirt and a clip-on club tie and he was the miniature embodiment of his hero except as we were trick-or-treating in the neighorhood, a gang of homeboys was getting out of a large car and one of them said, "Hey, all right, a gangster!" Well, not close by a mile, but my little son was enjoying this night so much he took it as a compliment! Eventually the little mummy that we went with was unraveling so we also dragged ourselves home and I had to take some pictures for my photography class. That was hard to do while my son was eating candy. He turned out like Alan Delon in Borsalino.
The next night at the school photo lab it was SO much fun to watch the development tanks as all manner of ghosts and gobblins, Little Red Riding Hoods, ninjas, Little Mermaids, clowns, pirates, witches, Count Draculas, etc., etc. appeared in the water. Halloween is the best holiday ever!!!!! So say I. I am planning to decorate my office at work. I have this motion-detecting, talking plastic skull from Walgreen's that says, "Hey, where you going?!? I see you!!!!!" That's always fun too! I'm giving out candy at work too. Stop by if you have a minute!

I don't think it is such a bad thing to worship El Dia De Los Muertos ( The Day of the Dead) when we remember loved ones that have passed and celebrate with them. Is that so wrong? Some of my religious friends think it is the Devil's holiday but it isn't at all. Not at all.